Self Compassion...

Self Compassion...

Friday, 26 September 2014

Just Around the Corner

Well, its been an interesting few weeks. It has been a struggle, it has been frustrating, and, I know, it will happen again.

Living with an invisible chronic illness is a challenge, add stigma to that, and things can get tougher.

Life was humming along nicely, I was getting my long morning walks in, writing, playing golf, going out with friends, laughing and smiling. Then, it came on slowly, visiting every once in a while throughout the week, then more often, then on a daily basis, then it decided it liked my company so much it decided to stay with me 24 hours a day.

I had another "episode" where my brain was not function at its optimum level, things were a challenge and in the end I needed to take care of myself, pull away from activities and have lots of quiet time and do a ton of self care. It seemed to take so much energy to do anything, read a book, go for a walk, talk to anyone.

This drives me nuts!

 I love September, the changing of the seasons, but for some reason this is a really hard time of the year for me. I don't know what it is, I have given up trying to figure it out. All I can do is be aware of it, and be extra vigilant with my self care and what I do.

I  am very fortunate to have very caring professionals in my life. When life gets like this, I pull in my resources to help me through these times. My family and friends know I have a mental illness and they support me the best they can, and they do a dam fine job of it. They also know that I am not my illness. They love and support me and accept me for who I am. That in itself is an amazing gift.

I have been through many of these "episodes" and I will again. Some, like this one will last a short while and I can deal with it at home, and I know, there may be a time in my future where I will need the help of the hospital. I also know, no matter which way it goes, it is not a character flaw, and I am not my illness.

I also know, that "this too shall pass." There have been times in my life where I doubted that, where I wondered if  I would  make it to the next day, and wondered " how will I get through this." But I have, and now, since my correct diagnoses, I have a much larger tool box, with much better tools to help me through these times. And life just keeps getting better.

Two nights ago, I was out with my son. We were having an ice creme and song came over the stores sound system. It was a song that was on the hit parade when I was 17 years old. I looked at my son and thought about that teen I was back then. How messed up and afraid of the world I was. Of how much pain I was in. I never would have thought that 37 years later I would be enjoying time with my son and laughing with him. I guess that's the thing about life, you never know what is around the corner.

A couple of weeks ago while I was coming out of this episode, I received an e-mail from as organization called F.O.R.C.E. Society for Kids and Mental health looking for parents who might be interested in attending the Child and Youth Mental Health and Substance Use Congress. I thought "all they can do is say no" so I applied and am thrilled to say that I have been accepted and I leave Sunday morning for the congress in Kelowna, and get back Wednesday night. I am looking forward to meeting others who believe we need to talk and educate about mental illness.I look forward to leaning and being inspired.

And I am still amazed at what life puts on my doorstep.

Life is a challenge for everyone, it has its ups and downs, winding roads and dark alleys. It also has its rainbow, rays of sun shine and spring mornings. I also know I am loved, supported and not my illness. I also know, I have no idea what is around the next corner.

I wish you all well in your journeys and  that you find many lovely surprise's around your corners.

Those are my thoughts for today

Cheers and be well


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