Step by Step version # 2398

Step by Step version # 2398

Friday, 26 September 2014

Just Around the Corner



Well, its been an interesting few weeks. It has been a struggle, it has been frustrating, and, I know, it will happen again.

Living with an invisible chronic illness is a challenge, add stigma to that, and things can get tougher.

Life was humming along nicely, I was getting my long morning walks in, writing, playing golf, going out with friends, laughing and smiling. Then, it came on slowly, visiting every once in a while throughout the week, then more often, then on a daily basis, then it decided it liked my company so much it decided to stay with me 24 hours a day.

I had another "episode" where my brain was not function at its optimum level, things were a challenge and in the end I needed to take care of myself, pull away from activities and have lots of quiet time and do a ton of self care. It seemed to take so much energy to do anything, read a book, go for a walk, talk to anyone.

This drives me nuts!

 I love September, the changing of the seasons, but for some reason this is a really hard time of the year for me. I don't know what it is, I have given up trying to figure it out. All I can do is be aware of it, and be extra vigilant with my self care and what I do.

I  am very fortunate to have very caring professionals in my life. When life gets like this, I pull in my resources to help me through these times. My family and friends know I have a mental illness and they support me the best they can, and they do a dam fine job of it. They also know that I am not my illness. They love and support me and accept me for who I am. That in itself is an amazing gift.

I have been through many of these "episodes" and I will again. Some, like this one will last a short while and I can deal with it at home, and I know, there may be a time in my future where I will need the help of the hospital. I also know, no matter which way it goes, it is not a character flaw, and I am not my illness.

I also know, that "this too shall pass." There have been times in my life where I doubted that, where I wondered if  I would  make it to the next day, and wondered " how will I get through this." But I have, and now, since my correct diagnoses, I have a much larger tool box, with much better tools to help me through these times. And life just keeps getting better.

Two nights ago, I was out with my son. We were having an ice creme and song came over the stores sound system. It was a song that was on the hit parade when I was 17 years old. I looked at my son and thought about that teen I was back then. How messed up and afraid of the world I was. Of how much pain I was in. I never would have thought that 37 years later I would be enjoying time with my son and laughing with him. I guess that's the thing about life, you never know what is around the corner.

A couple of weeks ago while I was coming out of this episode, I received an e-mail from as organization called F.O.R.C.E. Society for Kids and Mental health http://www.forcesociety.com/ looking for parents who might be interested in attending the Child and Youth Mental Health and Substance Use Congress. I thought "all they can do is say no" so I applied and am thrilled to say that I have been accepted and I leave Sunday morning for the congress in Kelowna, and get back Wednesday night. I am looking forward to meeting others who believe we need to talk and educate about mental illness.I look forward to leaning and being inspired.

And I am still amazed at what life puts on my doorstep.

Life is a challenge for everyone, it has its ups and downs, winding roads and dark alleys. It also has its rainbow, rays of sun shine and spring mornings. I also know I am loved, supported and not my illness. I also know, I have no idea what is around the next corner.

I wish you all well in your journeys and  that you find many lovely surprise's around your corners.

Those are my thoughts for today

Cheers and be well

Suzy




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